Grandparenting

Grandparenting..... Some old, some even older! ! !

1. She was in the bathroom, putting on her makeup, under the watchful eyes of her young granddaughter, as she'd done many times before. After she applied her lipstick and started to leave, the little one said, "But Grandma, you forgot to kiss the toilet paper good-bye!" I will probably never put lipstick on again without thinking about kissing the toilet paper good-bye...

2. My young grandson called the other day to wish me Happy Birthday. He asked me how old I was, and I told him, 62.My grandson was quiet for a moment, and then he asked, "Did you start at 1?"

3. After putting her grandchildren to bed, a grandmotherchanged into old slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded towash her hair.. As she heard the children getting more and
more rambunctious, her patience grew thin. Finally, shethrew a towel around her head and stormed into their room,putting them back to bed with stern warnings. As she left theroom, she heard the three-year-old say with a trembling voice,"Who was THAT?"

4. A grandmother was telling her little granddaughter whather own childhood was like: "We used to skate outsideon a pond I had a swing made from a tire; it hung from atree in our front yard. We rode our pony. We picked wildraspberries in the woods." The little girl was wide-eyed,taking this all in. At last she said, "I sure wish I'd gotten toknow you sooner!"

5. My grandson was visiting one day when he asked,"Grandma, do you know how you and God are alike?
"Imentally polished my halo and I said, "No, how are wealike?'' "You're both old," he replied.

6. A little girl was diligently pounding away on hergrandfather's word processor. She told him she waswriting a story. "What's it about?" he asked."I don't know," she replied. "I can't read."

7. I didn't know if my granddaughter had learned hercolors yet, so I decided to test her. I would point outsomething and ask what color it was. She would tell me andwas always correct. It was fun for me, so I continued. Atlast, she headed for the door, saying, "Grandma, I thinkyou should try to figure out some of these, yourself!"

8. When my grandson Billy and I entered our vacation cabin,we kept the lights off until we were inside to keep fromattracting pesky insects. Still, a few fireflies followed us in..Noticing them before I did, Billy whispered, "It's no use Grandpa.Now the mosquitoes are coming after us with flashlights."

9. When my grandson asked me how old I was, I teasinglyreplied, "I'm not sure.""Look in your underwear, Grandpa," he advised, "mine saysI'm 4 to 6."

10. A second grader came home from school and said to hergrandmother, "Grandma, guess what? We learned how tomake babies today." The grandmother, more than a littlesurprised, tried to keep her cool. "That's interesting," she said,"how do you make babies?""It's simple," replied the girl. "You just change 'y' to 'i' andadd 'es'."

11. Children's Logic: "Give me a sentence about apublic servant," said a teacher. The small boy wrote:"The fireman came down the ladder pregnant." Theteacher took the lad aside to correct him. "Don'tyou know what pregnant means?" she asked."Sure," said the young boy confidently. 'It meanscarrying a child."

12. A grandfather was delivering his grandchildren totheir home one day when a fire truck zoomed past.Sitting in the front seat of the fire truck was a Dalmatian dog.The children started discussing the dog's duties."They use him to keep crowds back," said one child."No," said another. "He's just for good luck." A third child brought the argument to a close. "They usethe dogs," she said firmly, "to find the fire hydrants."

13. A 6-year-old was asked where his grandma lived."Oh," he said, "she lives at the airport, and when we wanther, we just go get her. Then, when we're done having hervisit, we take her back to the airport."

14. Grandpa is the smartest man on earth! He teaches me goodgood things, but I don't get to see him enough to get as smartas him!